You won’t hear me deny it. Life is full of Burning Questions which stand in pressing need of Cool Answers to extinguish them. But I have noticed, over a long life of contemplation (yes, dear reader, there are people who dabble in that dangerous practice of thinking) that most of the Burning Questions on which people waste their time – and my patience – are boloney. Those, the shallow pseudo-mysteries of petit-bourgeois scholasticism, I have no trouble – and no fear of – answering. So that we may never hear of them again out of the mouths of airheads, hair-brains or uppity teenagers called Ivana.
So here goes for the first three out of a lengthy series. Read them, contemplate them, then learn them by heart and use them against all pop philosophers.
Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: The chicken. An egg cannot hatch itself.
Q: Is this glass half empty or half full?
A: The answer, my dear mental baboon, is that it is both.
Q: Who wrote William Shakespeare´s works?
A: As such things go, most probably his wife.