Saturday 10 May 2014

Awful Lines One Hates To Hear…






From your hairdresser: ‘Ooops….!’

From the orchestra director: ‘Tonight the Fat Lady will sing all of Bach…’

From the tax-inspector: ‘If you’re so rich then why aren’t you smart?’

From a drunk chef: ‘The pan is mightier than the sword!’

From the literary critic: ‘Mittington is of course a fine writer, but does he know how to type?’

From your surgeon: ‘Ooops…!’

From a drunk stand-up comedian: ‘The pun is mightier than the sword!’

From the literary critic about your penultimate book: ‘Very nice…’

From the concert hall management: ‘Elvis refuses to leave the building!’

From a drunk seamstress: ‘The pin is mightier than the sword.’

From the literary critic about your last book: ‘The best thing one may wish this budding young genius, is an early, tragic and romantic death…’

From your lover: ‘Ooops….!’

From the news reader: ’today 80 % of the electorate voted in the European elections…’




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