Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Saturday Snapshot on Tuesday: No Smoke Without Pyre

The nerds who make up the Anti-Smoke Lobby are not the most subtle characters, dear reader. Great Inquisitors rarely are. Blinded by a loathing of other people’s pleasures, no measure is too ludicrous or absurd in their eyes, as long as it serves their Utmost Goal: pestering the rest of humanity.

Take the present mayor of New York. The fine fellow, whose name I care not to recall, has recently proposed a smoking ban inside the city’s apartments (read: roughly 90 % of living space in his Rotten Apple), because – will you believe it? – cigarette smoke may escape beneath the front doors, and find its way, like a demonic guided missile, into the public corridors, and from there it may skip in underneath the front doors of non-smoking neighbours. And that is an awful health risk and an aggravation to those angelic smoke-free taxpayers…

Which is all good and well… But this in a city suffering from 24/7 traffic jams in the narrow gorges of the motorways in between high-rise buildings where no breeze ever reaches. Is the mayor also going to do something about the level of pollution from poisonous combustion motor exhaust fumes? Nay, of course not! Because car driving, you see, is not a pleasure. It is a need and a privilege of tax-paying citizens. So the minor health risks involved must simply be accepted and tolerated…

Anyway… Today’s snapshot I did not make myself. I plucked it from Facebook, where it made many people laugh as loudly as it made me moan. Because I am unsure if this is a Japanese joke or if it is real:

The trouble is that, if only a joke, I have no doubt that there are many many anti-smoking nerds out there (some, I guess, from Liverpool) who are delighted by the idea. Not because it allows people to smoke without bothering their neighbours, but because it reminds them of this:

Enough said! Now for more important matters! Only 4 more days to go until that inane Eurovision Song Festival, which you absolutely MUST watch so that you may

 Vote the Buranova Babushkas!!


  1. I write to protest the calumny against the people of Liverpool (or 'Scousers' as the Norwegians termed us long ago).

    Some of us may detest smoking but our fundamental principle is that smokers are free to kill themselves anywhere except where we are.

    And we would never be found within the home of a smoker, where complete liberty abounds.

  2. ...except where we are...

    The trouble with that is, that you Anti-Smoke Nerds are all over the place these days. Like lice, rats and mobile phones! So why don't we turn this around: whenever you see somebody peacefully smoking, just get out! Beginning with Spain if you please!

    Alfred 'Libertatus' Mittington